Live Your Life on Your Terms

If you are anything like me, you’ve experienced periods in your life where everyone else was a priority but you.

It’s fine to be there for others, but you have to be there for yourself. We have spouses, children, jobs, and other priorities and can get lost in the madness of it all.

Living life on Your Terms means making your own choices and refusing to compromise the things that matter most. It means investing in you, making decisions that are in your best interests. Not allowing others to make decisions for you.

I experienced a period of my life where I wasn’t living life on my terms. I gave 110% at work, made sure others were OK while managing personal things that took a lot of me including: moving halfway across the country – twice in a matter of three years, losing just about everything to a house fire, and personal loss in many other ways. I lost myself and stopped taking care of me. I wasn’t eating healthy, working out or focusing on my personal goals. It was a trying time and I’m honestly still getting things back in balance. How did I get back on track? I used the following steps, which helped tremendously.

1. Set Boundaries
I first set boundaries so I was able to make time for self-care. I wasn’t giving my best to others because I wasn’t giving the best to myself.

I also got out of a toxic work environment and found a new opportunity that better allowed me to balance my life. I examined my relationships and focused on those that nourished me and made me better, while distancing myself from those that weren’t.

I also learned learn to say “no” more often after realizing I was a people pleaser. I set boundaries that worked for me, allowing me to put myself first.

Putting yourself first might sound selfish but it simply means you are setting boundaries, allowing you to be a better you. How can you give when of yourself to others when you are empty? Put yourself first and watch how much better your life will be.

2. Get a Vision for your Life
Your vision is a statement reflecting what you represent or live by and should naturally connect with your goals and dreams. It’s important to connect to a vision so you can focus on achieving what’s important to you. Consider the questions here to help you discover your life vision.

– What brings you happiness?
– What are your top life values?
– What are you passionate about?  What do you do for others that doesn’t feel like work?
– What gets you excited or causes you to “come alive?”
– What would make your life exciting and more fun?
– What do you say you will do “someday?” What are you putting off?
– At what point in your life were you happiest? What were you doing? Who were you with?
– What makes you feel good about yourself?
– What or who inspires you? Why?
– What are your gifts and talents?
– What do others say you are good at?
– What comes easy for you that isn’t so easy for others?
– What do people usually ask your help for?
– How do you use your values, passions, and talents to help others? Why are you here?

Spend time reflecting on the above questions and don’t rush the process. Get quiet and listen for the answers to gain the clarity you need to formulate your vision.

To live your dreams, you must be able to answer the question “Why Am I Here?” It is a statement reflecting what you represent or live by in life. Identifying your vision will also help you to be clearer about the goals you should set and the direction you should take in life.

3. Set Goals, Plan and Prioritize
After determining life vision:

• Set goals that will help you achieve your vision and prioritize. Focus on the most important goals that will help you get there.
• Write down your goals and corresponding action plans and get ready to execute them.
• Block time on your calendar to focus on your goals. This is a way of putting yourself first; living life on your terms. Make time to work out, work on your business, meditate or whatever serves you well.
• Visualize success. Make visualization a daily practice if you haven’t already. Visualize your future and believe that you will achieve all that you set out to accomplish.
• Don’t forget to monitor your progress as this will keep you focused on and motivated to complete the important tasks that need to be accomplished each day.

4. Be Persistent
Think of persistence as continued effort. Everything might not work out the way you plan, but press on; keep moving forward to get to the destiny of your dream life. There is a quote I like from James Riley which states, “The most essential factor is persistence – the determination to never allow your energy or enthusiasm to be dampened by the discouragement that must inevitably come.” Never give up on your dreams, and stay focused on the big picture, your mission, your life purpose.

Put these power principles into place and start living life on your terms. You are worth it my friend!

If you need tool that will help you articulate your dreams and live life on your own terms, check out my Dream Living Journal. A tool designed to help you map out a plan and achieve your vision and dreams.